Child Counseling: What You Need to Know

Sending your behaviorally-disordered child to counseling does not improve his behavior at all because effective child therapy is based on replacing or removing your kid’s patterns of behavior. A kid’s pattern of behavior is influenced by both external and internal factors. The more the parent or the therapist knows about how a particular pattern of behavior gets triggered in a child, the more easily and effectively he/she can manipulate the pattern. Manipulating the behavior pattern of the child does not involve making the kid do something that he/she does not like to do. Instead the child himself/herself feels that their parent’s advice is the right thing to do in that particular situation. An excellent example of manipulation of the behavior pattern in a child is to rephrase commands or advice given by parents from negative to positive. Your sentence structure should make the kid feel that whatever you asked him/her to do is more a suggestion than a command. Instead of imposing something on your kid you (the parent) made a suggestion which the child will follow because it is more focused on his welfare.

Counseling for kids focuses on removing the communication gap between the parents and their kids. Effective child therapy involves changing the mentality of their parent too. Arguments with kids often go wrong when the child is not allowed to express their own concerns regarding a matter or situation. The parent views a situation in a different manner than their kids. They command their kids to do something from their own point of view; which is the main reason most kids do not fully understand what their parent’s mean. An argument with your kid would end up the parent threatening the child and making him/her do something out of fear of authority. Many arguments will end in an instant if the parents acknowledge the child's feelings. Kids seek independence and parents should understand their kids need for independence and personal space. An effective child counseling can find out the root problem causing conflict of interest between the parent and the child. Your kids coping skills and judgment skills can be deeply improved with the help of counseling.

How to decide if your kid requires counseling or not

Children who are coping with divorce, who are bullied at school, suffered molestation, etc. show certain behaviors and in most cases the parents can only learn about the problems by observing their kids’ behavior as most kids tend to hide their problems from their parents.  If your child remains sad for several days or weeks then it may be related to bad relationships and that kind of emotional problem should be handled with care. Usually, a third party who is experienced in this kind of matter(a child counselor) can be incredibly helpful to your kid in overcoming the sadness and depression. Tantrum-like behavior and open defiance toward parents or other authority figures can sometimes be related to the kid’s way of coping with divorce. The kid may feel the pressure of the loss of an authority figure in this kind of scenario. A child who cannot concentrate or gets easily distracted may require psychological help too.


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